Friday, March 16, 2018

Lunar New Year 2018 Pt. 2 & VLOG

I thought I should finish updating on the Chinese New Year celebration before it's too late...I mean CNY is officially over and it is almost mid-March now. Seriously, can the time just take a chill pill for a while and not move this fast? Anyway, as I've mentioned in the previous post I went to Tawau for CNY this year with my mum on the 2nd day until the 4th day of CNY. Indeed, it was a short but I do feel like it was a pretty good trip. Part of my childhood was spent in Tawau especially during CNY so it will always hold a special memory to me although a lot of things have changed now. Seeing how my nieces and nephews have grown up reminds me that I am obviously not young anymore haha. Still, it is nice to be able to meet up with the relatives again after so long. 

Before I came back to Sabah, I told my mum over the phone that I am worried if the relatives will ask me the dreaded question: 'When are you getting married?' But it turns out it, my very own mother was the one who asked me that question a few days after we are back from Tawau ๐Ÿ˜…

The first night when we arrived Tawau, my ่กจๅ“ฅ brought my mum and I for a small family dinner at a Malay seafood restaurant nearby the hotel that my mum and I are staying. Food was alright, I mean of course I would still prefer good authentic Chinese food but as you know, a lot of Chinese restaurants are booked during this festive season. I don't get the chance to eat seafood very often so this was already a privilege for me to be able to eat it free of charge ๐Ÿ˜‚So thank you Biao Ge and family. 

Also met up with this niece of mine...I think the last time I saw her was back in 2011 when we celebrated CNY in Kundasang. Always nice to have a relative that is very easy to talk with.

Photo taken from her FB.
After dinner,  Ivan brought me to experience the nightlife in Tawau which is pretty much similar with the nightlife in Penampang. I know both of us hang out a lot in Subang and see each other almost every week but I guess the feeling is different when I hang out with him in his hometown? Anyway, we went to a karaoke pub called Maze and it is definitely a place where you can showcase your singing talent or maybe if you've been longing to let people hear your voice, it is a good place to do so haha. Obviously Ivan is way better in singing than me so I was there just to support and to see him shine with his voice in the pub. Although this kind place is really not my scene, I mean I hardly even go to karaoke pubs in KK as well but, it is always good to have a friend who is willing to take time to spend it with you and even bring you around. I appreciate that.

The next day, I attended Sunday Mass with my mum in Holy Trinity Catholic Church. I've been to Holy Trinity about 3 times I think and it is the only Catholic Church that I know in Tawau. My parents actually got married in this Church and my brother was baptised in this Church too so I'm sure it holds good memory especially to my mum. After Mass, we continued our round of visiting relatives. By noon I was already feeling doozy so we went back to the hotel and had a nap. During this entire trip, I was experiencing a bad backache like seriously, the pain can be so unbearable at times. I got so worried about it that I was already making plans to go and see a chiropractor when I am back to KL. But thankfully, I don't feel the pain anymore as of now so I guess I must've pulled a muscle or something when I was working out in the gym few days before CNY.

Mum and I at Holy Trinity Church.

My uncle invited us over to his house for a simple home cooked dinner at night and then Ivan came over to pick me up and off we go for another another karaoke pub session ๐Ÿ˜œ So there was actually a fight in the karaoke pub that night...I was quite startled when I saw it happened but of course I am in no position to say anything about it, just that sometimes these kind of things tend to happen between friends. Anyway, that was how I spent my last night in Tawau. My mum and I flew back to KK the following day, taking the last night flight also, my first time flying with MAS Wings. Oh, I just have to mention about this cafe in Tawau called Indo Cafe. They serve really good mango sago, I love it! Not forgetting pisang goreng cheese as well. Glad that my uncle brought us to try it out for tea time.

Dinner at my uncle's house.
All smiles in Tawau.

Pisang Goreng Cheese & Mango Sago at Indo Cafe II.

Back home in Penampang, I stayed at home for the first couple of days since my cousins and bffs are working so I can't really meet them expect at night or during the weekend. I did managed to catch The Black Panther with my brother on Chor 8 in Suria Sabah. I would give the movie 8/10 because I honestly liked it haha. #WakandaForever and...also managed to have k-food dinner with Simone and Sono on the same day. Simone has been wanting to bring me to this Korean restaurant in Market 88 and we finally made the time to do so. Apparently, the restaurant's owner son looks like Tablo of Epik High and I can honestly say, yes he does lol.

Managed to also spend my weekend having breakfast with my cousins and also my adorable nieces. Not forgetting making a visit to Oliver and Anne's soon to be new home in Sarapung. Really happy for them for finally have a place they could call their own and I look forward to visit again once the house is fully done. Then, it was already time to fly back to KL and with that, my CNY holiday has come to an end. As always, being back home is great. I will always love the chill and relaxing vibe in the kampung. I love how I get to always eat good home-cooked food at home and I love to spend time with the people that I am very close with here. But over the years, I personally felt like I don't feel homesick that much anymore? Like I am okay to be away for a longer period of time than always planning my trip to go back home. I don't know if it is a good thing or feel a sense of detachment? I think it's the fact that I am so used to be by myself here and also the fact that I have more freedom here to do whatever I want so...thinking about home is not always a priority? I don't know man...but that's life to you. Things change, people change, feelings change...

In Tanjung Aru.
4/6 of Half a Dozen Craze.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to my family, cousins and bffs for spending time with me during the CNY break. Not really sure when I am coming back home again...I'm looking in August but I'm not sure if I can and going back for Christmas this year might not be happening to. Currently working towards #PANAMA2019. More on that in the coming post. So that is how my CNY holiday break went. I'm including a vlog that I made so you can actually see a glimpse of what I've been doing back home. I am definitely not a youtuber/vlogger but I actually like editing videos and I do want to learn how to edit videos properly as an additional creative skill :) Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Lunar New Year 2018

I guess I owe this blog a HUGE explanation on my really long absent from the blogsphere. I know, it's been too long since I last updated anything here and...I don't even know how to even start in explaining my reasons haha. But so you know, 2017 hasn't been the best year for me. In fact, it has been really hard, challenging and emotional. I've had my fair of ups and downs over the years but I've been experiencing more downs (I mean A LOT) than ever before. But thank God, I survived and seeing now that it is already a brand new year, I guess it is also time to start it off with a new slate? Oh gosh, I don't even know if 2018 will be better but, let's not lose faith and hope after all it is still too early to tell. I will definitely and slowly try to update more, will try to explain my reasons for disappearing and will try to get this blog back to normal again, although I can't promise anything! But I really do miss writing my thoughts and posting random stuff here so...I will try *crosses fingers*

Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year! It is the 5th Day of CNY and I am currently back in Kota Kinabalu. I was in Tawau with my mum on the 2nd until the 4th Day of CNY, just visiting relatives and getting angpows lol.  The last time I was in Tawau was 5 years ago and it actually felt good to be back again although there's nothing much to do over there to be honest. Thought I share some photos that I managed to snap when I arrived home on the 1st Day of CNY. I had a good catch up with my cousins, Audrey and Adrian in the afternoon just updating each other with what's going on with us. We stopped by Megalong Donggongon for a while and when I saw the CNY decos outside around the Datuk Peter Mojuntin's statue, I immediately had to go and take some pictures albeit the crazy scorching hot sun. Hope your CNY has been good so far. I've got a couple more days to stay in KK before I am back to work next week.

This area of Donggongon Town is very sentimental to me cos it brought tons of memories especially during my high school days. Used to hang around this area after sports practice or before tuition. Actually, I enjoyed the company of my friends in the tuition centre more than studying hahah because I can never be good in Maths and I've already accept the fact until today ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Friday, November 17, 2017

Getting it together

I just had my annual appraisal with my Division Head (DH) a week ago and while there wasn't any big issues, I've been told that this year, it seems like I was on a 'sleeping mode' Meaning, the things and tasks that I have promised my DH to complete is not completed yet. The new course that I was asked to develop from scratch hasn't seen much of a light yet and there's also the revamp of the course that I am currently handling...almost complete but definitely already passed the deadline. Although there are still so many pending tasks to finish, I do think I've been quite diligent with conducting all my classes and lessons in this semester and I really try to channel myself into being a positive person to my students, just so that they won't feel discouraged with their assignments. At least, that's something that I have been doing despite being a bad procrastinator.

I do feel disappointed in myself to be honest because I really don't like not being able to complete all these important tasks but I am aware and understand that it has been a challenging year for me and because of this, it kind of makes me lose my focus. All I do most of the time is to have self-pity and dwell with my sadness to the point that I could cry for days. It is just so bad for my mental health. This also led me to look at my own friends and made me wonder how could they still keep their head up and most importantly stay in good focus even though a whole lot of shit storm just came over them? How did they overcome it? Or how can they hide their sadness so well? Is it because I have so little faith in myself? (I think so), is it because I've not prayed enough? I don't know. The hardest part to deal with myself is definitely my own emotion and it  really has been an issue that I've blogged about for so many times. Yet, I have not overcome it at all *sigh* 

Earlier this year, my best friend and I were also planning to do a calendar project which I was so keen to start since I have more time after finishing my studies. We discussed, planned and finalised our ideas but alas I had to break the news to her earlier this month and informed her that I wasn't able to complete this project in due time. Again, I was super disappointed in myself for letting people down. I even promised to revive this blog but ended up not doing it.  I just don't know what to do when I felt so disheartened by so many things this year. But I know for sure that I can't continue to be like this until the end of the year cos I would probably be more depressed when Christmas is here. So, I really need to get it together like for real. If I still can't be done dealing with my emotions, at least I have to put my focus on my work and all the important tasks that needs to be completed soon. Praying that I can do it (I know I can) and work on to better myself before the year ends. The emotional turbulence part will be another story for another day. I think it's gonna be a real long story to tell haha. Anyway, LET'S GET IT! 

Thursday, November 02, 2017

The year after

One year ago when I finally received my MA certificate and it also officially marks the end of my two grueling years of studies haha. I know I haven't talk or post much about this, but looking back to where I am at now, I think I do deserve a good pat at the back for going through this. Definitely wasn't an easy journey...writing and research was a pain but at the same time, it was also a good experience to be able to research on a topic that I never really thought of in the first place. My tutor for my final Major Project has been really helpful and patient with me in terms of guiding and pushing me to go further with my project. I totally owe this  to him and very much thankful for all his guidance.  The end result that I received was a 'Commendation' which basically is equivalent to a B. It was already considered a good achievement for me. I hope that I will always continue to learn, to get myself educated in more different fields or aspects as I believe that if you have a chance for education, why not go for it right? So yes to forever learning and forever a student. Thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity to check off something from my bucketlist.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Envy vs Gratitute

 Today's gospel reading: Mt 20: 1-6
Can you sincerely rejoice and be filled with much gratitude at the success of others?  Can you sincerely be grateful to God when others are blessed with the unexpected and unwarranted generosity of others?  If this is a struggle, then at least thank God that you are made aware of this.  Envy is a sin, and it’s a sin that leaves us dissatisfied and sad.  You should be grateful you see it because that is the first step in overcoming it.
Lord, I do sin and I honestly admit I have some envy in my heart.  Thank you for helping me to see this and help me to now surrender that over.  Please replace it with a sincere gratitude for the abundant grace and mercy You bestow on others.  Jesus, I trust in You.
(Taken from
Envy is also one of the biggest thing that I want to defeat, sometimes I can be okay and not feel envious on people and things, but there also also times when this envious feeling can just seep right into me and make me turn green. So much self-reflections have been done in the past months, I wish/hope I will be better on this.