Thursday, October 30, 2014


That moment when you're sick but you have no one but yourself to depend on...this feeling kinda suck *sigh* Being back here in the Peninsula has led me being caught by the sick bug. It's my second time being sick this year and I guess I have broken my record since I did mentioned that I hardly ever get sick. But I think it's the age thing. The older you get, your health feels like a ticking bomb now. 

Had to conduct a class today that requires me to talk a lot...not an easy task man. The more I talk the more manly my voice is. Really didn't expect to be sick at this moment when I really x 100 need to get my arse back to continue my study/research cos the deadline so so effing near now...just 2 more weeks to finish up the annotated bibliography and critical analysis! (slowly going on a panic mode now) But on the other hand, I really do need a good rest and get enough sleep or else my entire body will not function the way I wanted it to be. Thinking about all these pending stuff to do is really making my head hurts haha. Okay, not gonna ask for any pity here but gotta work hard and make no excuses even if I am sick now haha. Hoepfully I will feel better next week AMEN.

This new MV and song by Crush just came out today. This song did not dissapoint <3

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Hello I'm home

Guess where I am? Well, actually I am back here in Penampang and this year it is already my 5th time being back you know where most of my $$$ goes to. It is to purchase air tickets! *sigh* The reason to be back this time around was to attend an old primary school friend's wedding reception. Raymond was one of my childhood friends that I've known since we were in our primary school days, we went to a different high school and eventually he continued his studies in the UK and has been staying there ever since. But we still managed to keep in touch, of course thanks to technology. Gonna blog about the wedding in another post because last night (the reception) was so so fun! But yeah, gonna wait till the next post. 

It was also a good time for me to be back, albeit just a few days because since I am currently doing my MA research, I made a visit to the public library and make use of the resources there. I'm thankful that I am able to find at least two related sources that I can include it in my bibliography research. Would be better if I can spend more time in the library though. Once I am back in the peninsula, I gotta die die put all my energy and mind on this research as the deadline is drawing near. Oh man...I am really struggling with this I can't even explain. 

Anyway, all the fun I am currently having is gonna end soon as I am flying back tomorrow. Why does all the good things must come to an end this fast? My mum flew to Taiwan for vacation and I wasn't able to spend more time with her and even celebrate her birthday because the both of us had clashing times. Kinda felt bad now but I hope my mum is enjoying herself in Taiwan. I shall be back in December. Well, just a quick update from my own comfort room. It is ALWAYS good to be home but you know, the war hasn't end yet so once again, I gotta go and fight for my own battle and leave my comfort zone. Shucks, but as I always say, "You gotta do what you gotta do "

Got this room all by myself in the library to do my research. Reading up old journals and articles. I may look like I'm very intellectual, but actually it's so effing HARD dammit.

Visited the tamu. As always, gave me so much joy just to walk around the market.
Attended my (grand) niece's kindergarten graduation day. Can't believe she's gonna be in Primary 1 next year! Congratulations Ophelia...when you feel like they are so big now, you will also feel you're getting old.
Odessa also performed.
Family picture. All five of them :)
Came home and witnessed a minor flood in my cousins' crib. Oh man, after what they've gone through in the past few weeks due to the flood, I hope it won't happen again.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Go veggies

Painted these veggies before I started my MA studies and now I've no choice but to take a break from painting which is kinda sad cos I have planned to paint some danish pastries next :( My colleague suggested that I try painting bitter gourd and when I found a nice reference of it I was wondering if I am able to paint the bitter gourd to look like a 'real' bitter gourd haha. Well, challenge accepted hence here's the result. Actually, I like the sweet potatoes the best. I gotta spare my time to paint an animal for a friend so...will post the outcome soon.

Now I realise how TOUGH it is to juggle your time with doing part time studies while you have a full time job. The time where I want to sit and get truly focused on my research is not enough. Then are other things that you wanna do as well like go to the movies, hang out with your friends, etc. Just gotta remind myself to take one step at a time...but so hard lah :P

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Yes? No?

After all that talk about me taking a leap and starting my MA studies in the previous post, I'm not sure if I actually made the right decision to go into this journey haha. Well, actually there is no turning back so....yeah. Gotta do what I gotta do here. It's only my second week of study and I already felt the stress slowly seeping through my head, mind, body and soul. The amount of research that I have to do, the critical thinking which requires all my brain cells to work so that all the creative juices will flow, the amount of stuff that I need to read and write...oh boy, not gonna be an easy task.

In a way, it's kinda fun to have a topic to do a research on...well, of course if you're the type who likes to read and do research, it definitely could be something that we will put effort to work on. I have a tendency to over think too always. So the past one week after I got my assignment briefs I have been thinking about it almost 24/7, trying to figure out things, questions on this and that...damn, I seriously have no clue how and where to start. But I told myself to take one step at the time, try to list down the things that I should do and most importantly not to over think. I decided to have a drink last weekend, just to ease up my mind and spend some good time with my cousins and Sabah friends. Then this week, I started to put all my unnecessary worries aside and start to do my research. At this stage, it is all still very surface, but I am gonna spare my time to delve further into the topic that I am researching on. Ahhh much things to do, so little time.

On the other note, I have a new blog! Actually it's a blog that I was required to set up for my research & enquiry assignment. It is called: Yup, decided to open my blog in a different platform cos the tutor prefers Wordpress haha. Yes, I am starting to use my first name again since I am addressed as my first time in this course :P I constantly have to update that blog so if I am not here much, hop on to the other side. From now on my daily routine will be:
Morning: work, classes, find any spare time to continue my research and reading.
Evening: reach home, eat, watch some sitcoms, continue my research, update MA blog, reading.

Acutally, I have to read a lot, like a whole lot of stuffs...oh boy.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 
Matt 6:34 

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Humble men

I always find it fascinating to observe people from different walks of life. From random people who do ordinary jobs and to friends either close ones or not. Sometimes I wonder what exactly goes through their mind, like whether they are currently happy or sad or even probably dealing with stress. Every morning when I go to work I always see the cleaners and trash collectors doing their daily jobs cleaning the area that I stay and I also wondered what goes through their minds. Are they happy? Are they sad? And the list goes on. But I do believe that ordinary people like them are just people who sincerely wants to make an honest living. No matter how tough their life and job is, at the end of the day, they needed the money to survive and most importantly to make sure they can provide meals to their family. I find their sincerity is such a blessing to them. 

There's a cobbler who has a mini station outside a bank near my workplace and almost everyday, I passed by the man and he's always busy fixing shoes for his customers. But every time I took a glimpse at him, he does his work with no frowns on his face. He's sitting in his little station rain or shine, and yet I have never seen him frown while working. He has a kid, a son that always accompany him at work and this son of his will wait patiently for his father and let him do his job without making a fuss. Sometimes I see the kid minding his own business and then sometimes I see that he's very playful with his father. I've been wanting to buy foods/kuih-muih for this cobbler in a while just because but I don't know, every time I wanted seems like the timing is not right and now, I haven't seen him in a month or probably two now *sigh* There's also a waiter who works at the Chicken Rice restaurant that I always pass by on daily basis. This man stands in front of the restaurant everyday and promotes the menu to possible customers who passes by the restaurant. He is also very similar with the cobbler because he always puts a smile on his face and talked politely to everyone. There was one time when I was heading to lunch with my colleagues and he asked it if we wanted to eat chicken rice and one of my colleagues declined saying that we're having lunch in Kim Gary, then the chicken rice waiter smiled and said thank you kindly to us. 

I really liked his humbleness and sincerity towards his job and how he treat people. He showed great kindness and honesty, which I find a great blessing for him. Everyone has their own hardships to deal with and there's no denying that we will get stressed, angry and even wonder how why the world is giving a damn hard time. But thinking about these humble people that I see and observed, it is *again* another reminder on how we should be humble, be sincere in what we do and give the best we can cos at the end of the day, we too want to make an honest living. I am thankful to have met these men (the cobbler and waiter) and to be able to see how they deal with their everyday job without complaints but applying all the good values in it. May they always be blessed with God's love everyday. Count your blessings, not your problems.