Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Go veggies

Painted these veggies before I started my MA studies and now I've no choice but to take a break from painting which is kinda sad cos I have planned to paint some danish pastries next :( My colleague suggested that I try painting bitter gourd and when I found a nice reference of it I was wondering if I am able to paint the bitter gourd to look like a 'real' bitter gourd haha. Well, challenge accepted hence here's the result. Actually, I like the sweet potatoes the best. I gotta spare my time to paint an animal for a friend so...will post the outcome soon.

Now I realise how TOUGH it is to juggle your time with doing part time studies while you have a full time job. The time where I want to sit and get truly focused on my research is not enough. Then are other things that you wanna do as well like go to the movies, hang out with your friends, etc. Just gotta remind myself to take one step at a time...but so hard lah :P

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Yes? No?

After all that talk about me taking a leap and starting my MA studies in the previous post, I'm not sure if I actually made the right decision to go into this journey haha. Well, actually there is no turning back so....yeah. Gotta do what I gotta do here. It's only my second week of study and I already felt the stress slowly seeping through my head, mind, body and soul. The amount of research that I have to do, the critical thinking which requires all my brain cells to work so that all the creative juices will flow, the amount of stuff that I need to read and write...oh boy, not gonna be an easy task.

In a way, it's kinda fun to have a topic to do a research on...well, of course if you're the type who likes to read and do research, it definitely could be something that we will put effort to work on. I have a tendency to over think too much...as always. So the past one week after I got my assignment briefs I have been thinking about it almost 24/7, trying to figure out things, questions on this and that...damn, I seriously have no clue how and where to start. But I told myself to take one step at the time, try to list down the things that I should do and most importantly not to over think. I decided to have a drink last weekend, just to ease up my mind and spend some good time with my cousins and Sabah friends. Then this week, I started to put all my unnecessary worries aside and start to do my research. At this stage, it is all still very surface, but I am gonna spare my time to delve further into the topic that I am researching on. Ahhh man...so much things to do, so little time.

On the other note, I have a new blog! Actually it's a blog that I was required to set up for my research & enquiry assignment. It is called: ethelsvisualdiary.wordpress.com Yup, decided to open my blog in a different platform cos the tutor prefers Wordpress haha. Yes, I am starting to use my first name again since I am addressed as my first time in this course :P I constantly have to update that blog so if I am not here much, hop on to the other side. From now on my daily routine will be:
Morning: work, classes, find any spare time to continue my research and reading.
Evening: reach home, eat, watch some sitcoms, continue my research, update MA blog, reading.

Acutally, I have to read a lot, like a whole lot of stuffs...oh boy.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 
Matt 6:34 

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Humble men

I always find it fascinating to observe people from different walks of life. From random people who do ordinary jobs and to friends either close ones or not. Sometimes I wonder what exactly goes through their mind, like whether they are currently happy or sad or even probably dealing with stress. Every morning when I go to work I always see the cleaners and trash collectors doing their daily jobs cleaning the area that I stay and I also wondered what goes through their minds. Are they happy? Are they sad? And the list goes on. But I do believe that ordinary people like them are just people who sincerely wants to make an honest living. No matter how tough their life and job is, at the end of the day, they needed the money to survive and most importantly to make sure they can provide meals to their family. I find their sincerity is such a blessing to them. 

There's a cobbler who has a mini station outside a bank near my workplace and almost everyday, I passed by the man and he's always busy fixing shoes for his customers. But every time I took a glimpse at him, he does his work with no frowns on his face. He's sitting in his little station rain or shine, and yet I have never seen him frown while working. He has a kid, a son that always accompany him at work and this son of his will wait patiently for his father and let him do his job without making a fuss. Sometimes I see the kid minding his own business and then sometimes I see that he's very playful with his father. I've been wanting to buy foods/kuih-muih for this cobbler in a while just because but I don't know, every time I wanted to...it seems like the timing is not right and now, I haven't seen him in a month or probably two now *sigh* There's also a waiter who works at the Chicken Rice restaurant that I always pass by on daily basis. This man stands in front of the restaurant everyday and promotes the menu to possible customers who passes by the restaurant. He is also very similar with the cobbler because he always puts a smile on his face and talked politely to everyone. There was one time when I was heading to lunch with my colleagues and he asked it if we wanted to eat chicken rice and one of my colleagues declined saying that we're having lunch in Kim Gary, then the chicken rice waiter smiled and said thank you kindly to us. 

I really liked his humbleness and sincerity towards his job and how he treat people. He showed great kindness and honesty, which I find a great blessing for him. Everyone has their own hardships to deal with and there's no denying that we will get stressed, angry and even wonder how why the world is giving a damn hard time. But thinking about these humble people that I see and observed, it is *again* another reminder on how we should be humble, be sincere in what we do and give the best we can cos at the end of the day, we too want to make an honest living. I am thankful to have met these men (the cobbler and waiter) and to be able to see how they deal with their everyday job without complaints but applying all the good values in it. May they always be blessed with God's love everyday. Count your blessings, not your problems.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

New chapter

As I am turning the big 3-0 soon...like really soon, I am looking at my friends who are currently either have climbed the stairs to success, became a parent, grown bigger due to the consumption of alcohol, grown fitter due to their motivation to workout 24/7 or some still looked pretty much the same after all these years. And here I am, still attached with my work, busy handling classes, still trying to improve my art skills and well, pretty much still trying to 'get there'. Whatever we're doing right now, I assume we all have goals to achieve in life right? Earlier this year, I made a resolution that I wanted to pursue my studies *again* and get a MA qualification in the field that I am in. Now, I know that some of my friends would probably wonder why the heck am I going back to become a student again when I can work, earn money, buy a house, car, get married and live a comfortable life. Like why the need to study again? I had a friend who told me that if he is able to pay all his bills/debt on time every month, that is already considered an achievement for him. Of course it is nothing wrong with that I mean, if I could make it through each months alive even though my financial situation is in critical condition, then it is also a great achievement for me.

For education, well...I believe that we can be learners for life. No matter what age we're in, we can always learn something new everyday and since I got this opportunity to continue my studies again, I thought why not? I also do realise that being back to student mode, albeit only a part-timer, still requires me to do things like research, brainstorming, draw, paint, design, read, etc and with my age slowly catching up (actually not that old la) I am not even sure if I still have that same kind of 'energy' like back when I was a full time student. I also know that my time management is really important as I have having to juggle with work and also my own assignments at the same time. But I have chose this path hence there is no turning back now.

Thanks to my HODs and also the big boss for their help in assuring me a place in the University and even granted me half scholarship for this. The past months I've been preparing my proposal and portfolio for this MA studies. I had quite a hard time writing the proposal to be honest since I wasn't sure what I wanted to focus on but everything's done now and just few weeks ago, I received the good news that I got the offer to continue my MA studies :) So, this new chapter has officially started and I'm actually excited about it and also a lil nervous because I am not sure whether I can do well or not. But I believe I always managed to stand up with my own two feet whenever things doesn't go wrong and after all the depression times I had when I was in grad school, I think I would do so much better now hehe. My mother has been a great supporter in my decision to continue my studies...maybe deep down in her heart she probably wants me to just quickly get married to a good man and give her grandchildren lol but...well, God has opened the door for me...not for marriage *yet* but for other great opportunity like this and it would be a waste if I say no to something good as this. I am sure that God will stand by me throughout this two years of my studies. I hope that my family and friends will also give their support and prayers so that this journey will be a good one for me. It's gonna be another helluva journey but here's to new challenges and opening another chapter in life! Actually, being a student again is not really something to shout about to be honest haha.

Something I would like to clarify...for me to continue my studies, is not for the reason that I can brag about my qualifications to people or to let my parents brag about me. It is something that I personally wanted to do, to better equip myself to learn and discover more on another level. It is something that I prayed for and God has open the door for me :)

P/S: My course have officially started and I have a 'paper challenge' exercise that is due end of this week and I am still so clueless on what to create. I like paper art but err...what should I create? I think 'anyaman' is a good idea. Okay, back to do more research.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Note for my cousins

 Dear cousins,

I know I can be selfish just to think about all the hardships that I've been going through these couple of months and not even care to ask my family or close friends what hardships that they are currently going through at the moment. I know that we go through different kind of hardships, mine might be more minor than the others but still...these hardships are basically all the challenges that I have to fight and go through every single day too. 

I just want you guys to know that we're in this together...no matter what kind of hardships that we are dealing with. We're gonna support each other and try our best to keep our head up and stay strong so we can go through living life everyday. I wish we can easily take each of our worries away but sometimes, things really do take time hence the reason why we just gotta hold on and be patient about it. I always believe that God will always pull us up whenever we feel weak and help us to stand with our own feet again so I am glad to hear that you guys are thinking of going to the house of God again. Sometimes when you drift away from Him, that is when you will end up going through so many different directions to the point that you're at lost. So, I do hope that you will not lose faith in Him even if you've drifted yourselves out for a while. Eventually, when you start praying again, you will feel at peace and God will set you back to the right path. 

Sometimes I wonder how I still can manage to keep going everyday even when I am also having so many worries about everything...I guess it is because I don't lose my faith easily. Anyway, I know I cannot always be there for you guys and even for my own family but you are always in my prayers everyday. We'll get through this. BELIEVE!