Saturday, September 24, 2005

Living on a prayer


I remembered when I watched She’s All That for the first time; it was in my next-door cousins home back in 1999. I love that movie in an instant then Anne and I will watch it over and over again. The same goes to movies like Ten Things I Hate About You and Can’t Hardly Wait. I’ve watch both the movies more than five times I think. Ahh…those were the days. When my cousins bought their first VCD player, I was at their house all the time watching movies with them. Kinda miss those nice days though.

Just a while ago, I’ve got the chance to watch She’s All That again! I still love that movie and oh, Freddie Prinze has a really REALLY nice lop-sided smile. Me like! And where is Rachael Leigh Cook now? Haven’t seen her in any movies these days.

One of my classmates, Hui Min is going to UK to further her studies next month. Met her one last time during dinner last night. It seems that everyone has a plan for the future now. I am still in a dazed and confused situation thinking what do I want to do next.
People are still (and I am not sure when are they going to stop) asking me that BONUS question which I seriously loathe and tired to answer anymore. I still get that question every single day. Do you know how awfully hard for me to answer that? And no matter how many times I complained about it, it still won’t stop. I guess once I am back in my hometown, there will be more and more people asking that question again.

I don’t understand but WHY? Why do I get this everyday? When I’ve finished my secondary school, there were only a few people who’ve asked what was my next plan.

Eh, Sabah really got job meh?
I don’t think Sabah got good advertising company wor…
Why you dowan to work in KL?
You go back Sabah and then what?
If in Sabah dun have job then how?
So you’ve found a job oredi?
You got go any interview?
Oh, finish college adi? So what’s your next plan lar?
Are you going to further your studies?
And it goes on and on and on and on…

Yes, I know some of my classmates has already found a job and some of them knew what are their next plan for the future. Well, it is because they are good decision makers. I can’t make a good decision therefore I do not know what am I gonna do next. A friend told me that my classmates should not influence me easily. Just because they’ve found a job and they have plans on their mind doesn’t mean that I should follow them too. My friend also told me to have more faith in myself and put everything to GOD. Okay, my friend does have a point there.

So I’ve been praying and asked GOD several times to show me a direction but it seems be no avail. Do I need to wait much longer for a miracle or do something about it? Sometimes I just wish that there were a gateway to heaven so that I could meet GOD personally and ask him everything that I wanted to ask.
Trying to figure out what is the next plan for the future just simply sucks when you just have no idea on what you’re going to do. I know I am writing crap again. But it’s just this thing has been in my mind for the longest time and when I tried to tell someone about it they doesn’t seem to understand what exactly is the problem that I am currently facing. Maybe my mother would know what to do…

To Hui min, all the best in your studies and hope you’ll gain more experience once you’re in Bristol. If can, go to Old Trafford to watch Man. United too. I am not really close to Hui Min but she’s always been a good friend lah. I really hope that this what’s-the- next-plan-for-the-future thing will give me a headache soon. I am just going to continue and pray that GOD will help me to get through this. I know he will. AMEN.

Mother is coming today. Hope it’s going to be good too.

3 comments:

SaDdNesZ.jc said...

It's a case of belum cuba, belum tahu.

You must decide what you want. That's part and parcel of being an adult, a graduate. Start living for yourself, and think about what you want, and not what your parents want.

Don't worry about a thing. You got time on your hands. Youth is on your side. Feel free to try out a few jobs, and if you don't like it, just leave and look for another one.

Determine what you want, and go for it. If it's not God's will, He'll pull you back.

ChloeW. said...

i dun think most of ya classmates noes wat they wanna do yet anyway (i can name afew which r stil lepaking at home, unaware of wat to do nex).. jz take things one at a time lo..

actually, um... um... im worrying now too.. i went to afew interviews and so far, no one wanna hire me.. :'( im dead worried and afraid that i will be jobless and maybe end up as an insurance agent like joseph said.. then i will die straight straight... like u.. i oso hope God will reveal His plans for me too.. haih.. if only.. but i realise, no use worrying.. He will make things good eventually.. really wan.. i juzt pity my mum which have to fetch me here n there to interviews for less than half hr then fetch me home under d hot scorching sun.. i always felt guilty when i dun get d job, it's like s tho she sacrificed for nothing.. haih..

i think ur work r real nice (i'v seen ya work..) so no matter wat ya plans r u will be doin fine.. hehe.. dun worry too much la.. God will certainly have plans for u wan..(n me too ;}) cheers!! gd luck n all da best in ya future ya.. hehe..

Vivien said...

chloe: hi chloe!
thanks a lot for your comment. was really surprised to see you commenting on my blog actually. heheh.

yeap, i guess i shouldn't be worrying too much about my next plan and stuffs. i guess i just have to take things one at a time.

i'm worried that i will not get a good job too...u know lah, i really have this low self confidence in myself and always thought that my works are not superb. but i know god will reveal his plans to me sooner or later. i'll just keep praying and have more faith in him lah.

dun worry too much too ok? you'll find a good job eventually. it might be hard these days to get ppl to hire us but let's not give up ok. i'm going back to sabah oredi, so i won't be seeing you for quite sometime but hope we will still keep in touch ok.

i'll see you soon and all the best in everything.

saddnesz: thanks a lot for all the advices. u are a verry good leader. haha.