Sometimes I felt like I am a little too selfish that it seems like everything I do or think revolves around me, myself and I. I didn't really bother to take a look my surroundings and most of all, not taking a look at people that I cared the most. It does makes guilty because they are probably dealing with bigger problems than I do, and yet I just didn't realise or knew about it that I can't even lend a hand to help in the end. I was informed recently about something that one of my closest family is currently dealing. It caught me by surprise because as far as I know I thought that she was fine but in all honesty, it really broke my heart when I heard about it. Then I kept asking myself why didn't knew about this before and how can I be this ignorant to give her a call from time to time? The thing is, I didn't wanna ask because I may seem like I am an 'intruder' trying to know every whereabouts on people. I didn't wanna be that person hence I kept my silence. Probably because my introvert personality also chose not to ask unless people are willing to share. But come to think of it, keeping my silence will not make any good too right?
So all I can think of to offer is by keeping them in my daily prayers. I know it's probably a lame thing to do but I believe prayers can work, no matter where we are. I'm not the person who will tell my friends that I'm always gonna be there for them face to face but I just want to know that I've been keeping them in my daily prayers all the time. Just because I don't call or ask how they're doing, I have been genuinely praying for them. Okay, I know this probably sound like I am so angelic and stuff but it's not. I mean, I make so many sins all the time. I am human as well. All I am saying is that, though my offer is small but believe me it is the most genuine and sincere thing that I can always offer to the people I care and love the most.
Recently, I just told a friend that I've been praying for him every week when I go for Sunday Mass. It was not a priority for me to pray for him because after all, I can choose to be selfish and totally not care about him since I am probably just an 'ordinary' friend in his eyes but, I wanted GOD to look out for him, to always give him strength since he's away from home. For the first 5 months since he left the country, I didn't even know how was he doing, has he been taking care of himself or has he been eating well. Like I've said, I might not be able to ask him but the least I could do is to always pray for him and wish him well. I know that I should make more effort to call, to ask my family and friends how have they been from time to time but I guess I'm just I don't know...don't feel like intruding other people personal lives which is why sometimes when I receive a surprising news and I wasn't able to do anything about it, the guilt that I feel keeps bugging in my mind. I really hope that by lending my prayers, I can help the problem ease a little. Sorry for not always being able to be there all the time.
***This has been in my mind for quite sometime now, I finally managed to post about it here after a while. Been having a major 'blogger's block' lately and I can't seem to open up my heart to express my thoughts. Something has affected me emotionally that I can't understand my own feelings these days haha.