Thursday, July 05, 2012

The waiting game

Writing isn't my absolute forté hence wanting to write something that's purely based on my feelings is just so hard these days...well at least for me. My guess is, I've been keeping everything inside too well and when I felt like it was time to finally let it out, my feelings won't allow me to do so anymore because it has remained static somehow...get what I mean? When I started this blog 9 years ago (omg, has it been 9 freaking years???), my purpose was just to share updates on my life because I was away from home for the first time. It was basically a 'dear diary' kind of blog with a lot of complains about about my never ending assignments, my cheesy adoration of Cristiano Ronaldo plus, implementing foul words in my post was cool back then pffft. In my defense, I was only 19 so my maturity level wasn't that good yet.

I've never actually thought of writing something inspiring or anything deep because I feel like I am not capable of doing that and even if I tried, I'll re-read back my stuff and be all, "WTF is this sh*t?" I guess there are times when I felt like I want to write deep things to impress myself and others, plus also to proof to myself that I am capable of penning down my honest feelings. But it was not that easy! I don't know how people do it...I mean do they read a lot to get inspiration? Well, I read a lot too! Okay, so I read Twilight and while people are making shifty eyes over my reading preferences but still, I do read right? A friend told me that sometimes the inspiration can come if you listen to music...specifically songs from Michael Jackson. No doubt he (MJ) has a lot of beautiful songs but when I read and analysed the lyrics, I still find it hard to absorb it mainly because I knew that some of the songs has 'deeper' meaning into it. The same goes to reading a bible. Recently I've been reading the Old Testament and while I can understand the story, it is still hard for me to figure out what exactly God is trying to teach us.

Now you see the reason why I don't normally write deep stuff and normally just updating my current life and status. Of course I really feel my blog is losing its 'ummph' these days and it's probably because whatever that had happened 2 months ago still kinda affects me and it sort of made me became too cautious in posting stuff in my very own blog. But I should be able to write anything I want right? After all it is my blog...but I hope to improve though. I hope that sooner or later, pouring out my feelings may come easily. Anyway, I shall stop rambling here and share this little thing that I've heard during the sermon while attending Sunday's Mass few weeks ago, which I hope can somehow be an inspiring thing to you. To be honest, sometimes during the sermon given by the priest, my mind will start to wonder around, thinking about other stuff but normally I was listing down stuff to do in my head. For me, the best sermon given from a priest are those which are short, straight to the point but gives a valuable lesson to you. If the sermon tends to go on and on, I definitely can assure you that my mind won't be that focused anymore.  So, few weeks ago the priest was talking about how God challenges the people to learn the art of waiting and I totally listened to the entire thing wide awake and absorbing everything into my mind :)

We've heard the saying that goes "good things come to those who wait" and although this saying might not exactly be accurate (depends on your opinion), I do agree on this statement. The priest explained that sometimes we tend to want a lot of things and we always wanted success to come in the fastest way. But the result might not be as fruitful compared to those who worked hard to achieve what they want. There was an example that the priest gave; he said that his brother started to have interest in planting vegetables in the backyard of their house. Because he (the brother) wanted the vegetables to grow fast, he decided to use a special enzyme spray in the hopes that the vegetables will grow faster. Eventually after two days, the leaves grew bigger but the vegetables didn't. So the priest told his brother  just to let nature do its work and let the vegetables grow naturally even though it will take a little longer. Putting your trust in God and have faith in Him, he will reward you with good things.

I can see myself relatable to this situation too. I mean, for sure I wanted a lot of things but somehow I felt like there must be a reason why I already felt pretty much content with what I have now. There must be a reason on why I am still using an old Nokia phone and not rush into buying the latest smart phone hahaha. I reckon if I waited a little longer, probably the reward will be better right? My point is, since we're living in the fast lane these days, we're sort of competing with each other to own things and due to our own selfishness, we always find the best possible way (whether is legal or not) to get it while God still wants you to have a little bit more patience. Not so long ago, I wrote something on my personal journal and wanted God to just give me a yes or no, straight to the point answer so that I won't keep thinking about the 'issue' everyday. Seriously, it was driving me nuts! So I waited and up until now...still no answer yet. But I don't want to give up yet because I have come THIS far to search for an answer so what I'm gonna do this to pray and have faith. Just like Abraham who waited long enough and finally God gave him a son.

WOW..that was a lengthy post! Well I am not here to be Dr. Phil or Rick Warren, I just hope that we can learn a thing or two out of this and not to give up waiting :)
Stay quiet before Yahweh, wait longingly for him,
do not get heated over someone who is making a fortune,
succeeding by devious means.
{psalm 37:7}

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P/S: I hope this post make sense!

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