Sunday, September 02, 2012

When you least expect

I know I've abandoned my blog again but not because I wanted to but due to the fact that I've been caught up in one really unfortunate incident that had happened to me a week ago. I've been quite reluctant to write about it because it'll make me recall back on that incident and to be honest, I am still finding it hard to cope with it. Not only hard but I've been feeling so afraid to even write about it. But, in order to get my life back on track, I just have to keep my head up and pray for better days to come. Saw this on Twitter and it says, "fear is awful, face it." So yes, I *will* try though I am sure it will take a while. 

To cut the long story short, a week ago I was a victim of snatch thieves (there were 3 of them) while walking home from sunset mass. I know it was partly my fault because I was walking alone around 7.30-ish in the evening along the short cut instead of taking the main road. I somehow sensed something was gonna happen but I ignored my instinct and when it happened, words can't even describe how scared I was. We've always read or hear a lot about snatch thieves happening in the country and I have never expected it would happen to me as well. I begged them to only take my money and not my purse but they refused. Again and again, I begged but yet they insisted on taking my bag to the point where one of them was putting his arm on my neck, making me hard to move. In fear for my own safety, I gave my bag to them and lost two valuable things that I have grew attached to. Everything happened so fast and when they left, I couldn't even move, couldn't even speak and couldn't even think. My entire body was shaking and I just couldn't believe all that had just happened in the blink of an eye. But I am REALLY thankful that I am left unhurt and luckily, my cell phone was still intact in my jeans pocket. 

So I quickly called my housemate and rushed back home. So many things came into my mind; the what ifs, if only, I could've, I should've...but what exactly can I do? That incident has already happened and there is NO way I could fight them. Even if I know self defence, my fear has overlapped my entire body and mind. I was so scared they will attack me and then nobody will help me after that. The first person I called was my mom. In my head, I was thinking she might go ballistic on me because she has warned me so many times about this and I ended up being the victim. But I am really grateful that after telling my mom about it, she kept me calm and comforted me while I burst out crying. I kept blaming myself for not being extra careful but this thing just happened so unexpectedly that I REALLY can't do anything about it. My mom told me that everything happens for a reason and asked me to seek God in prayers. I know that she was glad I managed to come home safely and most importantly, unhurt because it could've been worse right? After hearing those comforting words from my mom, I called my cousin Merl and my closest friend in KL because I needed them to know. They came over to meet me that night so I am also very thankful for that. 

 My mom has been calling me everyday just to check on me and for the first 3 days when my mom called, I cried and cried because I kept replaying the incident in my head. It'll just pop in my head at random times and it just made me feel more afraid. The best thing I can do was to distract myself with other things. The next day (Monday), I had to make a police report and also apply for a new IC. I am also very grateful to have such caring colleagues who are willing to lend me money, accompany me to get my police report done and also drive all the way to Putrajaya to apply for my new IC. I wish to repay all of you hopefully soon! It has been a week since the incident happened. If you were to ask me if I am okay, well to be honest, I'm not exactly fine...yet. I am still scared at times and I felt like I constantly need to talk to my friends in order for me not to think about it. I don't dare to walk to my workplace in the morning and I don't even dare to go to Mass today. It's like I rather just stay locked in my room and not go out. But I know I can't hide myself all the time and not face my fear. I know that God gave us so many challenges in life in order for us to bravely endure it with His faith. Come to think of it, if the incident did not happen, I might've still walk along the shortcut without taking extra precaution and like I've said, it could've been worst. So at this moment, I am trying my very best to stay strong and pray everyday that God will always protect and watch over me. 

 You know, since I've been away from my family since I am 17, I always thought that I am this strong independent woman who can do things myself. Well, I am not THAT strong after all. I will NEED to be extra careful from now on and will not EVER walk home alone when the day starts to get dark. I might have to rely on my colleagues and carpool with them to work...yes, I feel bad on relying too much on people but I just hope they'll understand. I just wanted to say thank you to my family and friends for their love and care. My mom, who has shown such unconditional love throughout all these. A mother's love is irreplaceable, just so you know. Thank you for checking on me everyday and thank you everyone for their support. God will definitely repay your kindness.

I've lost my purse, which was a birthday gift so it was very SPECIAL to me and also my iPod, a device that I've grew attached to because of the songs that I put in it, the photos, the apps (instagram!!!) and because I bought it with my own hard earned money. But of course, those things can be replaced but I've got only ONE life right? So the most important thing is, I am thankful and blessed that I managed to reach home unhurt. That's definitely something to be REALLY thankful for. The new semester in college will start tomorrow, I guess I will need to keep myself busy in order for me to get back on track with life. It's not gonna be that easy for me to suddenly turn 360 Degrees and be happy but as Tupac Shakur said, "Keep your head up" and I shall try my very best. I believe in karma, so one day karma will definitely hit those damn snatch thieves back.

Gosh, it's not easy to let this out...thought that I should share it and girls, pleasssseeeeee stay safe wherever you are. Hopefully my next post will be about my Melbourne trip. Been wanting to share all the photos :)

P/S: I've been reading this bible verse everyday to seek comfort and maybe it can apply to you guys too. Typography gurus, I know there are some kerning/leading problem but this was done in less than half an hour so...

6 comments:

Ivan Ho said...

WAH !!! very like. nice typo as well

Vivien Dumpangol said...

oh my gosh why are you not asleep yet???

Ivan Ho said...

Just finished reading with my kindly perusal. Oh dear? what a touching post which makes people blue eye blue. Incident makes people hate but glad that u still stay positive, really makes people salute. I know u always very independent, but sometimes we too independent we cannot really feel who care about us, but when incident happened u will know peoples around u do care bout u, they care is because of what u have contributed before. Father always says live in the community so we need each other help is for sure. Of cos this incident is not a lesson for u to learn, this incident has brought u to another level. U can call me when u needed help, I can refuse but when u keep knocking on the door the door sure will open for u. God bless n peace.

Vivien Dumpangol said...

you really read this post with 'perusal'? haha...anyway, thank you for the kind words! yes, i've to look at it in a positive side...my mom encouraged me to do so as well so that i will not keep thinking about the incident over and over again. just needed to pray and seek god's protection always. yes, you are right about knowing the people who truly cares...i am really grateful to have such good family and friends. you've done way enough for always fetching me and sending me home all the time and i will forever be thankful for your kindness :D

Anonymous said...

Hello Viven. I am your silent reader in your blog. And this time,I just have to leave a comment. I was eating a cookie while reading your ordeal, and honestly the cookie got stuck in my throat. I can imagine how you feel,and you somemore you were so daring to beg them! But I'm glad that you still can write about it today. I guess it's easy to say forget about but one cannot. Just learnt from it, and be even a better/vigilant person than before. Take care and hugs! -R.

Vivien Dumpangol said...

anon: hey, thanks a lot for the kind words. yes, it is still not easy to forget even if that incident was two weeks ago...i think about it from time to time and everytime a motorcycle passed by me, my fear suddenly shot up in my body. but of course i've got to move on with life and try my best to be positive about all these. anyway, thanks for reading my blog :) hugs.