Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Bombing out the F word and flipping tables

In the past week, I think my colleagues and I are pretty much stressed out with our students that we seem to start complaining about them the moment we came back from class. I was in this situation last week where my boiling points had reached to the maximum level and if I could, I would throw all the F-bombs that I've been saying in my head. But of course I didn't...I really wished I could though haha. That one thing that I asked my students to keep in mind since the beginning of the semester which is 'to put effort' in all their works seems to be neglected the week after I reminded them pffft. Last week was supposed to be the last week to check on my students' progress on their final project and of course I expected them to at least be 80% done with their final project or at least 50% done. But some (well, most of them) was still showing me their sketches...which was supposed to be shown to me like a month ago. I was like, "WHATTTTT? Still thumbnail sketches?!?!" Then, another student asked me about the size of their booklet project and that was when my boiling points shot right up in an instant. I didn't wanna answer the question so I gave my student a poker face and told him to read the brief which was  given to the class like 2 months ago. It's funny when I have already explained EVERY SINGLE thing about the project and read the brief for them and yet, towards the end of the semester they are still asking me questions that they can answer themselves. Besides throwing F-bombs, I felt like doing this too and leave the class immediately:
I think I've mentioned this before that I don't get angry very easily these days compared to a few years ago but I dunno...it feels like something's wrong with my students in this semester. It's like I don't see that 'burning passion' in their eyes and I felt like they are doing their assignments just for the sake of it. My colleagues told me that I tend to be too nice towards my students because I don't get mad and I am way more lenient to them too. The thing is, I want to treat my students like a young adult and not a bunch of six year olds. I want them to know their own responsibilities without me having to constantly nag them because they are already in tertiary level so I'd assume they should learn to be responsible and not to be spoon fed all the time. But I realised that not all my students are capable of doing so. Some are really hardworking and some tend to find the easiest way out. If their 'easy way out' technique is smart, then I am still okay about it but if it's a dumb one, then their brains probably need to be polished more. Anyway, don't take this as the wrong way...I don't hate my students. It's just that they can get on my nerves at times till I almost can reach my breaking point. Plus I'm a human too and there's nothing wrong with being angry or venting out my anger...right? I know it's not very ethical to write about it here as well but just this one time...I needed to scream and shout, and let it all out hahaha. 

This Thursday, my students will be submitting their final project to me and I really really hope *crosses fingers* that the outcome will be good...well, I don't wanna put too high expectations on it but I just hope they will do their best. So many things to look forward for in the coming days and weeks and I've different feelings about it. I'm excited and nervous at the same time...I don't really know my exact feeling now hahah. But let's just keep a positive mind in everything for now :)

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