Tuesday, November 05, 2013

All apologies

I hate it when my emotions are going on a rollercoaster ride again. It makes me over-think things every night before I sleep, recalling each event, retracting my actions over and over again till I sleep and dreamt about it. I realised that this week I've done a few mistakes over work and also to my friend and to be honest, I feel very bad about it. Hence the reason why I have been thinking about all these every night. I know that if I could, I would definitely undo my actions but life doesn't come with a short cut key like command+Z in our computer so there is no way I could undo my actions. Instead, I need to face it and move on. Let the mistakes that I've made be a life lesson to me and cross my fingers that I could be better next time. So I'm gonna convey my apologies here, for the mistakes that I've done in the past week, just to get a better 'clarity' to everyone. Just wanted to make things right you know...

I'm sorry, to my students for the mistakes that I've done on the rationales of their artworks. Although it was just some typo errors but I really wished I didn't made that mistake and I should've triple checked everything and proof read like 100 times before I finalise everything. I know you guys worked your ass of for this exhibition and being in charge of handling all the rationales, I should've done my job better. I will, in the future be more tentative to everything...especially on the little details so that there won't be any major mistakes to be made. Real sorry guys but hope you're cool about it.

Sorry to my colleagues who worked together with me on this project. I have been  given this responsibility and yet, I didn't handle it that well. My professionalism suddenly went downhill, which I had no idea why. I dunno if stress is the main course of this but yeah like I've said, I was given a task to do and yet I did not perform it well. I know that my colleagues are very understanding people and won't exactly blame me entirely for my mistakes but somehow this 'guilt' has been clogging in my mind for days. I just need to let this bag out and sincerely apologise to them.

I'm sorry, to my friend for yet another unintentional drama that I've created making you feel unsatisfied with my actions and words. I know I might have shown my tiredness and my not-so-eagerness to hang out that night, but yet I still decided to go. I have nothing to say to that cos truthfully I don't even know the exact reason for me to say 'yes' to hanging out with you even when I was actually so dead tired. Maybe I wanted to just have a company to talk to or maybe I just didn't want my Saturday night to end yet. I know you've made the effort to come over and yet I made you feel like I don't appreciate your effort. But I would rather deal with this in person rather than ranting everything here because I don't really see the point. I mean how long have we've known each other that we couldn't speak our mind honestly? One thing that I dislike the most is having conflicts especially when it is between someone that you 'consider' close with and that's the reason why I don't think it's good for me to pour out all the deeds here in my blog. I might be right on certain parts, you might be right in certain parts as well or we might be wrong...I don't exactly know. But if we kept collecting each other's flaws one by one and blasting it off into the virtual world, it really felt like we're putting this 'good friendship' or whatever you wanna call this into a kind of jeopardy. And I really really don't want it to happen cos this 'friendship' is so much more valuable that all these stupid drama-rama. That is why we gotta learn to accept other people's flaws whether we like it or not.

Anyway if I did wrong, I would also like to say I'm sorry. If my actions made me lose my 'dignity' then I understand. I don't want to be that person who will be alone in my room and cry over this. I'll take this as another life lesson and learn from it. Mistakes will teach us valuable lessons and definitely make us better.