Wednesday, February 26, 2014

A million things in my mind

Seems like there are million things to say/share but it feels like I just don't have the time to sit, calm myself and not to think about the 14596049604 things that I need to do. People are writing are blogging frequently, writing good inspiring stuff and here I am, in an attempt to do an update but yet my mind is thinking, "Oh I need to do that InDesign assignment, I have to compile the amount of bottles that students need for the Spritzer competition, I need to be on standby for my freelance work in case my friend replies me, I need to take photos of student projects for the college archive," and the list goes on and on. Overwork or over using my energy is just me looking for my own trouble and basically I felt like I am slowly self-destructing myself, no kidding. Sometimes I wonder why I do this and also wonder the reason I wanna work hard is because I wanna prove to myself I am capable or to impress people or just doing it because it's something that I love to do? Maybe it is also peer pressure seeing people working their ass off from reading their status on Facebook and Twitter. Then everyone seems to be impressed with how hard 'they' work and gave praises to 'em. I mean, I work my ass off too but I just don't talk much about it...oh well, we can't always have what other people have right?

You know, I am blessed that I can go back to my hometown a few times in a year and home truly gave me a reminder that I should never ever forget where I come from. When I was helping my mom selling our goods in the 'Tamu', I observed the local people, looking at how they make a living selling their goods as well and as much as they work hard, they live a simple life with no complaints but you could tell that they are thankful for what they have, even though it is not much. Come to think of it, living in a busy metropolitan city did changed me in  some ways. It's not a bad thing actually but sometimes if feels like you still can't be satisfied with everything, you want more, you demand more yet it is still not enough. Such a hard thing when you want the best of both worlds. You want that simple kind of life you can have in Penampang yet you also want to strive and work hard for the future. When you have been constantly thinking about it in your head, this is where you're really looking for your own trouble because your head can never stop thinking. You might fall sick or in my case, encountering a nose bleed situtation...again.

It could be the crazy hot weather that causes this nose bleed and stress..not forgetting the amount of coffee intake that I had last week. Yeap, lesson never learned. But in my defense, last week was like a hell week for me.If I didn't take coffee, I might be more stressed out. Of course this is just my excuse. My colleagues told me not to stress too much but I don't know how to. I want to relieve my stress by going to the cinema but I don't even have the time to do so. But I can assure you that no matter how stress I can get, I'll get my work done. For now, let me just endure this 'stress' that I am still having right now...not to worry, I am still alive and doing fine. I miss blogging a lot.

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