Monday, September 08, 2014

Give, not receive

I read this article taken from the weekly church bulletin yesterday and it was indeed something beautiful written by Pope Francis. So many things that I have to constantly remind myself over and over again regarding on God's love. Been having a little sucky/depressing moments these days...I don't know maybe because I've just attended my colleague's wedding 2 weeks ago and just yesterday my cousin Jess had just tied the know in Perth. I am of course very happy for them but thinking how my life is right now...well, it's not something that I can be really happy about at the moment *sigh* There are friends who are showing their confidence, like they can just do anything and brag about it every single time...that kinda depresses me at times because it feels like I am never gonna be good enough for everyone. I constantly tell my students to always be blessed and be proud of their own artwork but it is me who kept forgetting about this value...the same thing with how I tend to forget God's infinite love for me. I just don't know why it can be so hard to be grateful, to be happy and to feel blessed.  

I think my biggest problem when dealing with God is trust. Sometimes I am not convinced that he is always there or he's constantly listening to my problems and not being able to trust Him in solving it as well. But if there's one thing that I am so grateful to God is that, he gave me the ability to give so much for my family, friends and the people who matters to me without asking for anything in return and no matter how depressing or sucky my life can be, giving is something that I will continuously do because I believe it's a projection of God's love towards me to pass it to the people I love. 

Everytime I try to write something meaningful, I am not even sure if it really make sense at all. But yeah, I really love this article and yes my life is not exactly in the happiest phase at the moment but God's love is infinite, and that's the best reminder that I need to know right now.

P/S: I apologise to my friends for being a pain in the butt for the constant 'I'm not good enough' phase that I always go through haha. It is really hard to be happy but just know that I'm always trying to be.

God needs our smallness, to lower ourselves. And he also needs our amazement when we look for him and discover him already there, waiting for us.

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