This year's Christmas felt like some sort of 'test' for me to see if I could survive celebrating it all by myself here in the Peninsula, having none of my family members around. I gotta say, it is not really easy for me as I've shed some tears a couple of times albeit not extreme...but there were tears, just little ones haha. Alas, I did survived and you know what, it is not THAT bad after all. I am just glad that the telly was showing reruns of all Christmas episodes of Friends and that totally made my day during Christmas :)
Anyway, I guess celebrating this festive season alone did helped me to reflect on certain things...two things to be exact and I personally felt it's really important to have a realization about it even though it has been implemented every year during christmas. I realised how truly important being together with our family as they certainly bring joy and happiness at this time of the year. Last year, I wrote about how wish my own family will still be united as one like how it used to be back in those days. I know now, patching things back to how it used to seems quite impossible. I see so many friends who are spending their quality time with their family and you know, my heart sometimes is longing for that kind of feeling but...you know, things doesn't work that way. But it is still so much better being in one roof with your parents and siblings during Christmas and just know that they're there, I think that is enough, for me. So many things had happened this year that I don't even know how many tears that I've shed because of my own family but I know that no family is beyond perfect. It's how we learn to forgive and try to find joy and happiness within each other that's more important. The best thing we can do is to constantly pray and not to lose hope with our own family. Which is why, I personally felt that no matter how much pain or hurt we go through, nothing beats being with home with family.
Second realization was when I read an article from CNA where the Pope said that sadness is not allowed as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. According to the Pope:
We cannot let ourselves be taken in by fatigue; sadness in any form is not allowed, even though we have reason to be with the many concerns and the many forms of violence which hurt humanity. Instead, the coming of the Lord must fill our hearts with joy.
Totally agree with what he said although it has been quite a 'challenge' for me not to feel sad as Christmas approaches haha. I guess it was because I kinda dread the day where I know I'll be spending Christmas alone, my MA study hasn't been going on the right track and my overthinking disorder has been acting up like crazy hence there wasn't much 'joy' in me the last 2 months or so. But this article definitely reminded me that there is no reason at all to be sad on Christmas. During the closing prayer on Christmas Day mass, the priest mentioned that today (Christmas) is a happy day. Go out and celebrate. That really put a smile on my face haha. There is nothing to be sad about when you know that you've received the best gift anyone could ask for; Jesus Christ. The Saviour, who has given so much love to us from the beginning, the one who forgives and died for our sins and the one who is always there for us in our happy and sad days.
While it does feel lonely celebrating Christmas here, but I am glad to know that in some way or another, I did managed to find the joy and happiness during this festive season. Although it might not be much but well at least, I did not wail like a baby and be all depressed about not going home for Christmas haha. I survived the blue Christmas here :) Wishing each and everyone of you a Blessed Christmas and I also hope that you did managed to find love, joy, peace and happiness in your own special way.
Dedicating this song for everyone who didn't manage to be home for Christmas. This song was sang beautifully by Lady Antebellum. I LOVE IT! Plus, this video made me cry because of the slide shows at the background :'(