You know when you have finally completed an assignment, and then suddenly, you have these lingering thoughts that is playing with your head? Stuff like, 'I could've done better or if only I have enough time or if only I didn't procrastinate too much...and all the 'What Ifs' that you can ever think of. I've been getting this kind of thoughts for as long as I can remember and I am sure I am not the only one to have all these thoughts. I know my students do too. Yesterday, when I went to the print shop to get my major project printed, I was having a chat with my student and told him that I really do wish I could have done better with my project and I also wish that I have more drawings to show but because of time constrain, I really have to get everything printed and not put my focus on the book anymore. I still have my writing, work and development and a freaking video to do and shoot so you know that I must continue working on the second part of my major study.
But yeah..all the 'What Ifs' thoughts are still lingering around until now as I am typing this, I kept re-looking at my guidebook print mockup and figuring out all the things that I could've done better. When will I be able to be satisfied with my own work. That is seriously one of the things that I'm sure you know I am still battling with *sigh* Although I know that the entire grade for my major project is not solely determined by the 'guidebook' but still...I can't help wishing that I could've done better. I guess I just have to convince myself that I have already done my best. The last two months was dead crucial and I know how much time and effort that I have put into finishing my guidebook. Oh, man...I don't even know what I feel right now haha. No point of turning back or regret now cos I know that I'll eventually overcome it :)
On the other note, yesterday morning when I wanted to open my InDesign file to fix some typo error in my guidebook, the file decided to kill itself...meaning the file was damaged and I couldn't open it at all no matter how many times I tried and every time I wanted to open it, InDesign decided to crash itself too so I knew that I was doomed! Well, not entirely because thank God that I have already exported my designs into PDF format (so that I can bring it to the print shop) the night before so it was indeed a lucky thing for me to at least have a backup file. You know I constantly remind my students to always back up their files every time but never would I thought I am now the unfortunate victim :( Definitely lesson learned. Getting my stuff printed out felt like a HUGE relief to myself because I know that I am almost there to the finishing line. Just hoping everything will be A-OK in the next two weeks before my deadline.
As much as I was feeling a little disappointed with myself yesterday, I was actually quite touched by one of my student who met me to submit her final work and at the same time gave me a bag of Famous Amos cookies! Very surprised by it because I hardly ever receive anything from my students and I don't expect them to give me anything as long as they do well in their studies then it's all good (so humble lol) but yeah, my student said thank you to me for the guidance and teaching her. Honestly, that felt really nice haha and it's always nice to be appreciated once in a while. Wow this is probably like my longest post in a very long while! I told you I have so many things to say but just can't utter it out sometimes. Oh well, I gotta go and start my writing now...another 3000 words omg!
|WIP: Designing the cover before my file was damaged.|
|Off to print!|